Finding My Flow

Monday was my 4-week anniversary in Basel. Life is good here. After 4 weeks, I feel that I've arrived just yesterday--but also that I've been here longer than I can remember. I'm fully submerged and I've found my flow...again.

Let me explain by backing up. I lived in Paris from fall of 2002 through the winter of 2005. Life was good there, too. I was happy in Paris in a different way than I had ever been, living anywhere else. Between 2005 and now, I had forgotten the specificity of this feeling. I have been reminded. Basel reminded me.

So what is it about Europe? I was never able to say with any kind of clarity what exactly about living in Europe did it for me. When people asked me, I would talk about lots of little things: how much I liked the way the cities are set up here, for instance. Pedestrian friendly. Good public transport. The food is good. Cheap healthcare. Slower pace. When I talked about it, everything sounded so banal. My reasons were shallow, and I knew it. Life in Philadelphia is pretty good, too, after all! But there was something about Paris...it was hard to quantify why I liked it so much--why living in Europe brought out a better me...but it did.

I have a new theory. Actually, it's not my theory. It belongs to Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. About 20 years ago, Mr. Csíkszentmihályi introduced a psychological concept called "Flow". Here's an overview of the princple, in the words of the man himself:

"A sense that one’s skills are adequate to cope with the challenges at hand in a goal-directed, rule-bound action system that provides clear clues as to how one is performing. Concentration is so intense that there is no attention left over to think about anything irrelevant or to worry about problems. Self-consciousness disappears, and the sense of time becomes distorted. An activity that produces such experiences is so gratifying that people are willing to do it for its own sake, with little concern for what they will get out of it, even when it is difficult or dangerous."

The Flow is a state of being. Athletes find the Flow. Musicians do too, of course--especially improvisatory artists. I have always thought of Flow as a very desirable state to find while singing. I think that I do get there, actually, a fair percentage of the time when I perform. Artists, writers, teachers and learners all can find Flow--anybody can, really, who is so intensely challenged in an enjoyable way that it requires his or her complete concentration.

Maybe my sense of well-being here in Europe can be explained with the same concept!

I know, it's a little trippy. Maybe I drank too much wine with Rena tonight. But, stick with me...

I might be taking some liberties with the theory, but I think it makes sense. Living here requires more of me. I'm operating in fifth gear here, firing on all cylinders. The newness of my surroundings combined with my questionable command of the language(s) keeps me on my toes--but the challenges that life here presents are challenges that are within my ability to master, eventually.

Flow.

I don't always know where I'm going, but I can read a map. When I don't have a map, I may not be able to ask directions speaking perfect German or Italian (or, these days, even French!), but I have a working (if poetic) vocabulary in each language. Additionally, I'm a fantastic gesturer. In the worst case scenario, I can sing them something. Sola, perduta, abbandonata, maybe...or Kennst du das Land? in a pinch...

I can get along. And I'm learning that it's the game of getting along that rings my chimes--at least for now.

So, maybe it's not the French food that I especially loved, but the satisfaction of figuring out how to ask for what I want and then savoring it. Perhaps it's not that the pace here is really any slower: maybe it's that I allow myself more time to play the game, and reward myself more lavishly with each hand I win.

I'm sure it helps knowing that I can stop the game at any time; US Airways has flights to Philadelphia daily. Enough said. But for now, I'm enjoying the flow.