A Clear Sign from the Cosmos

A weird thing happened to me tonight.

It's around 3am in Basel, and I've been playing with writing a blog post for quite some time now. I have felt the need to write for several days, but I didn't have any idea what to say--which is a strange and new state for me! For better or for worse, I am rarely at a loss for words.

I've been in one of those pensive Autumn moods where everything seems a little sad, but beautifully so. Tonight, I was determined to finally write something. I was trying to find a subject that wouldn't be completely depressing (for me and for you!) but still authentic, and I came up with what I still think is a clever idea: an open letter to the Cosmos.

The premise was this: my thirty-fourth birthday is coming up on January 7th, which is less than two months away (!). I wrote a (very charming) little letter to the Cosmos asking for a special birthday gift: a brief outline of how the rest of my life will go.

In the letter/blog post, I specified that I wasn't looking for a fortune-telling. I didn't need specifics of where I'll live in the future, or how long I'll live or with whom I'm live. I also urged the Cosmos to avoid any direct divulgences of future ailments. I just wanted to have a quick consultation with the future me to find out if the older and wiser Mary Elizabeth felt content with the choices I am making now. After all, there's still time to try something else, right?

I even gave examples of what I was looking for, because I realized my request was a little unorthodox. I wrote, I'd be just thrilled to receive a missive that reads something like this:

KEEP IT UP, YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK. IT ALL WORKS OUT PRETTY WELL.

or

STOP NOW. NOT WORTH IT. SURPRISE US BOTH AND TRY SOMETHING ELSE. BRAZIL, MAYBE?

or, lastly

BRACE YOURSELF FOR YEARS 38-43. THEY WILL ABSOLUTELY SUCK, BUT YOU'LL SURVIVE.


I closed my letter to the Cosmos by again recognizing that my gift request was a little unusual, apologizing for my boldness, and explaining that the only reason I wanted to know anything at all about my future is to make sure I was doing this magical lifetime the proper justice. I added, at the very bottom, that if direct instruction wasn't possible, I'd also gladly accept a (clear) sign.

I was proofreading my blog entry in preparation for publication, when my computer suddenly froze up. That doesn't happen often, since my computer is still young and spry (unlike me, haha). Still, I wasn't particularly worried because the program I use to write my blog posts automatically saves my work every 2 minutes. At the most, I'd lose a few sentences.

So, I restarted, and don't you know the ENTIRE thing was lost? No trace. It was like I never even wrote the letter.

I would be naive not to recognize a sign as clear as that. Point taken, Cosmos. I will mind my own damned business and wait for my life to unfold like everyone else.

You can't blame a girl for asking, though.