First of all, let's be honest: I spend my life making music and dressing up in costumes and pretty dresses. Yes, it's challenging and stimulating and stressful, but I am grounded enough to realize that my work stress is, well...negligible and insignificant, relatively speaking. As an ex-agent of mine succinctly put it: "nobody dies if we do our job badly." And that, my friends, is a relief.
Then, there's the undeniable fact that if a job comes up at the last minute, I'm doing it. I can make all the plans in the world. I can reserve the nicest suite in the loveliest hotel. When the crunch comes, none of that matters. I will drop everything for a good singing job. That's just the way I was made. I have canceled Christmas. I have missed weddings. I have quit school (three times). The costs are often non-refundable, both personally and financially, but the pull to perform is irresistible.
On the off chance that I do actually book a vacation and no last-minute singing work crops up to foil my relaxation plans, I have been known to then spend my time off stressing about why my career is slow enough that I can actually take time off! As I lie on the beach, I ponder: Will I ever sing again? Is this the end? What will I do with the rest of my life???
I'm now a singer with considerable experience, and a mature woman. I've been at this for 20 years, speaking conservatively. When I was in my 30's, perhaps it was forgivable that I worried about the longevity of my career and prioritized singing over all else. But now, at 47, do I really still have to be ready to sacrifice everything for the sake of my career? No! I want to prioritize my inner adult and tell my singer-self to shut up while I order another spritz and read my book.
Enter the second strata of complication: marriage.
I have managed to find a man to love who is even worse at vacationing than I am. Lorenzo has never taken a proper vacation in his life. Before we met, his idea of a vacation was to sleep in a friend's guest room in another part of Italy for a few days. It was life as usual plus a duffel bag, shared with people he loved, in a different place (with a smaller, less comfortable bed and a shared bathroom).
Don't get me wrong; visiting friends and family is fun, and a totally worthy way to spend a holiday, but it is not a VACATION. To me, a vacation is where you go someplace and have fewer responsibilities and tasks than in your normal life. A vacation is about doing less work in a more beautiful and luxurious place than you normally inhabit. It is spending money to be pampered. When we were trying to decide what to do this summer, I said to my husband "I don't want to travel to be less comfortable than I am at home." And, I think that pretty much says it all.
Oh, and one more pesky issue: now that we have two dogs -- one of them geriatric-- my husband also wants to take them with us everywhere we go because, well...how can he possibly have fun if they are all alone, panting miserably in some boarder's cage? Sigh. Lorenzo has a point, but traveling with dogs is limiting, to put it mildly.
I ask you now to imagine me, trying to organize a vacation that will 1) satisfy us both, 2) include our dogs, and 3) not break the bank. Has your head exploded yet?
This year, I have hung my hopes on an agriturismo called Case Vacanze Pozzitello in Abruzzo. It is a sprawling hillside property, with lots of land and beautiful surroundings. They provide small self-contained apartments with private gardens. They allow dogs of any size! They are minutes both from the beach and from our closest friends in Milan who also happen to have a summer place in the same town.
Is it luxurious? Probably not. But it will be a beautiful, restful place that the whole family (even the furriest among us) can enjoy. We will have our own space, but I will be close enough to my friend Lucia that every once in a while we can escape to the spa or a girls' aperitivo date at the beach. It is a compromise, and if it works, it could become a regular solution. Here's hoping.
I have been talking to my brain and I hope it is ready to vacate its normal stressful premises and inhabit a calmer, slower existence in Abruzzo.
I will keep you posted from the road...but in the meantime, no news is good news!
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